fuck.writer’s block
worst.feeling.ever
Michael Bay is a Douche Bag
… and all of his movies have the same shit. A list:
1. slow-mow shots —> Either regular slow-mow, medium slow-mow, or (his personal favorite) SUPER slow-mow. We get it; you like the slow-mow, for whatever reason. THIS is why you’re movies are too long.
2. the words “My God” —> Muttered by some dude (shot in close-up) during an “epic” discovery of some sort. I guess this is more the screenwriter’s fault than Bay’s, but he’s the one with the final say. So suck it.
3. hot chicks that cannot act —> Megan Fox and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley are the ones that come to mind. For her defense, Fox tries. H-W is a Victoria’s Secret model that Bay wants to/probably has fucked.
4. sunset shots —> 99% of the time, including some sort of airplane/helicopter. They signify someone’s safety, or the end of the movie, but that doesn’t make them any less annoying. Unless they’re by the water; in which case - I <3 the water!
And, last but certainly not least:
5. explosions —> Which are a trademark to any movie that Bay has directed (Transformers) or even just produced (Friday the 13th). Basically, if a movie in Hollywood is associated with Bay for any reason, you could bet good money he gets his little hands in there to ask for an explosion scene … or 20.
This is not me complaining … or, maybe it is. It’s just that I recently watched the trailer for Transformers 3, and it hit me - WHY does Michael Bay insist on making the same movie over and over?! Doesn’t he realize that everyone will continue calling him a douche bag behind his back (or even in public - ex. Megan Fox)?
That being said, if there ever was a time, though, when Bay did not include one or all of these details in a movie of his, I think the world that we know would not exist for much longer. … Then again, he does have a couple movies coming out in 2012.
The Hangover: Part 2 Review
{This may read more like a rant than actual review — But I just came from seeing it, so my mind’s still processing.}
It’s not like I had high-hopes for this movie, because anyone that saw the first one and knew they were making a second knew it couldn’t live up to the first. The Hangover: Part 1 (as I affectionately call it) is c.l.a.s.s.i.c - and NO ONE could improve it. But yet, I thought Wolfpack + Mr. Chow + HAWT Bradley Cooper + monkey + Ed Helms’ uber-girlie screaming = pretty good attempt, and this might turn out awesome.
It was not, my friends.
It was … not a disaster, because there were some funny gems, but sorta like watching that car crash and having one or two people survive so there is a good-ish ending. {That was a terrible metaphor; like I said before, my mind is still processing this shit - and yes, I may or may not have called TH: P2 ‘shit’.}
The most disappointing thing is, that it was the EXACT replica of the first movie. And yes, I understand that anyone who saw the two minute preview knows this, but yet you hope they have some orginality in there as to not make it appear too much as the first one. But no, all three writers (yes, there were THREE writers) managed to re-create most of the iconic moments from the first Hangover into the second. I don’t want to give too much away, but here are some small samples: a body part comes off willingly, there’s a small stripper love fest from Stu (although it lasts only the night), Alan finds something to love that he has to give away (like the baby from no. 1), there’s a major car crash, Mr. Chow comes flying out of his hiding place, B. Cooper recites his popular line, ”We fucked up,” and the movie ends with a bunch of pictures.
Not to mention, there’s a similar song from Kanye West featured in the fast-forward scene and the guy that was the owner of the chapel in the first one (“Eddie”, who made mugs and calanders from Stu’s wedding) makes a similar apparence in the second {it’s a little hard to tell, cuz he has hair in this one, but it’s the same guy}.
I know you want to see it, because it’s The Hangover, but I beg all of you: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE wait at least until it comes to Netflix or RedBox. It is NOT worth your money right now. Very sad, but very true.
The Hangover: Part 2 = 2/5 stars
Do you know what really grinds my gears???
When TV networks cancel the shows that i l.o.v.e so much!
It started in 2005 with a lil known show called Summerland, after a season and a half. Then, it started to follow me EVERYWHERE! Case in point: Black Sash, Tru Calling, Point Pleasant, Dollhouse, The OC, Kyle XY, Life As We Know It, My So-Called Life (even though I didn’t start watching the 90s show till recently, when I found out 20s Jared Leto starred), and just recently:: NBC alien-themed The Event.
WTF?!?
But yet, shows like Smallville celebrate their 1,000th season when they should have ended 999 years ago. {Side Note: I know that Smallville was only on for like 10 seasons, and it ended … I’m just sayin’, they were on for a long-ass time when no one was watching for the last 5 years.}
I understand that the majority of these shows - while I fondly look back - may not have had the best dialogue, story-lines, or actors, but they did have heart/really hot guys. And I liked them a lot! I just hope that one day I can be on the panel for one of these networks and help the right shows off the tube, while keeping the worthwhile ones on.
